The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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