As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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