You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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