My room smells like vodka and shame
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
