he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
At least life still wants to fuck me.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
