I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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