come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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