I think im going to throw up on grandma
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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