I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize