I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
