wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
