I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
