when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
