so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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