I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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