I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
