sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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