1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize