I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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