I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
