Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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