ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
