Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
