Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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