I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize