Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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