Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
