I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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