Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
