he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
