oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
