I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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