She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
