My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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