Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
