I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
