I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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