like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
