After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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