So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
jump out the window naked night went bad
that may or may not have been my penis.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
