ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he fucked my hip out of place.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
