some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
