He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
