I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
your like the ambassador to my penis.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
