Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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