Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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