I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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