we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
