There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Panties = found
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