Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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