It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
