Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
