If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
