Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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