very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just cropdusted the office
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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