Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
