At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
