I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
