whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
