She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
