She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
