Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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